haven't been able to sleep for a few days :|

So i made a curriculum to get a masters in comp sci that only has two classes in it that i didn't take in undergrad (the two 700 level classes). I can't believe this.

http://catalog.ep.jhu.edu/preview_program.php?catoid=17&poid=360&returnto=517

605 . 401 - Foundations of Software Engineering
605 . 411 - Foundations of Computer Architecture
605 . 421 - Foundations of Algorithms
605 . 467 - Computer Graphics
605 . 445 - Artificial Intelligence
605 . 447 - Neural Networks
605 . 441 - Principles of Database Systems
605 . 404 - Object Oriented Programming with C++
605 . 702 - Service-Oriented Architecture
605 . 703 - Component-Based Software Engineering

I'll be starting classes in the spring. Should take about two years to finish.
Spring 2012 : 1 class
Summer 2012 : 1 class
Fall 2012 : 3 classes (work part time)
Spring 2013 : 3 classes (work part time)
Summer 2013 : 1 class
Fall 2013 : 1 class

*sigh* i would start feeling ill friday and then be full ill for the weekend.

It is the human condition to need freedoms and the ability to make choices to make us happy. However, the overwhelming amount of options often paralyzes. Businesses often use this fact to their advantage. When you start your career, you are overwhelmed with health plan, retirement, life insurance policies, retirement plans and other things that the company is “happy” to provide you with! Studies have shown that people often neglect to maximize what they are getting out of these plans due to being overwhelmed and simply select things like health care and do not bother with retirement plans that the company is willing to also contribute to.



Happiness = What you have / Expectations



Usually when you make a decision, you have certain expectations of the resulting course of action you’ve chosen. I believe if we don’t lower our expectations of decisions we make, we will be eaten alive by the sheer quantity of choices we have to choose from.



Happiness Yielded by Decision = Happiness Yeilded by Choice – Opportunity Cost



Freedom gives us the chance to decide for ourselves what we want, and what we think is best. However as the amount of choices we have grows larger and larger, the opportunity cost becomes greater. It is our nature to look back and regret the choice we made if we are not 100% satisfied with the choice we made. However, we only look at the choices that we perceive to make us happier rather than unhappier.



Happiness = Best Choice Happiness – (Perceived Second Best Choice Happiness + Perceived Third Best Choice Happiness + … + No Happiness)



The problem with the choices we have is that there is not a clear cut distinction between the first best choice and second best choice in many cases.



Best Choice Happiness = Second Best Choice Happiness

Happiness = X – (X + The Sum of all other options happiness, which is always greater than 0)

Happiness = - (The Sum of all other options happiness, which is always greater than 0)



Mathematically, we arrive at regardless which choice we make, we will always be disappointed by the choice we made if we do not get 100% satisfaction from the choice we made.



The simplest example would be cell phones. Each cell phone claims to be better than the other in some facet. Arguably, there are top tier cell phones. Say you purchase one of these top tier cell phones and something isn’t working exactly how you would want it to work. I guarantee your next thought will jump to “I bet the other phones don’t have this problem.” You won’t cycle through every single phone on the face of the earth, but you will compare it to the other phones you were deeply considering. Phones in the same tier will probably have similar amounts of perceived happiness, and the fact that there are simply a high quantity of options it will lead you to think you made a bad decision.

Its easy for us to place blame on things other than ourselves when you simply do not have control over the decision. Say there is only one cell phone you can buy. Everyone on the earth has this same cell phone. If there is something wrong with the cell phone, its easy to say “It is the manufacturers fault”, or even more juvenile “The worlds fault.” However, when there are so many choices between phones, and you are unhappy with your phone, who is to blame? The answer seems a bit obvious – you are to blame. “I had such a wide selection of phones – one of them must have been the best fit for me, I just selected the wrong phone.”



Companies thrive off the dissatisfied customer, because it keeps the customer on heels about the next “Best product”, that if you choose will grant you never ending happiness. But sadly we are stuck in this sick system of never being entirely satisfied.



Since we’re stuck in a sick cycle of never being able to achieve a high level of happiness, the only viable option I see is to lower our expectations of things.

Saturday April 23rd i will program my video game engine for 24 hours straight. Even better, i will be streaming the whole thing for anyone who cares to watch (expecting 0 viewers, aside from the random redmooners who pop in and go what the fuck is this shit?)!

Fun topics will include
- 2-D Characters
- Character Commands (skills)
- PvM / PvP
- Items (equipment, consumable, ammo, etc)
- Npc Shops

This is the order i intend on implementing, but if viewers say they want to see something implemented i'll probably work on that instead, because interaction/interest shall be rewarded.

link: http://justin.tv/darkservant
Watch live video from darkservant on Justin.tv

i was at starbucks, i go to this starbucks fairly frequently so they know who i am and what i order etc
so this dude whos making my drink starts talkin to me
and says my hair looks like seto kaiba's
this immidiately set off an alarm in my head
one: that im faggy enough to know who seto kaibi is
two: that hes faggy enough to know who seto kaiba is
three: that i look like a fag
so im just kind of like uhh okay
he asks me "so what are you up to tonight?"
im like "just headin home"
he hands me my drink
and theres a heart made out of chocolate syrup on it
and then he asked me for his number
and im like dude im not gay
the chick next to me was like "thats a shame, you'd make a cute gay guy"
so im like "does that mean you want my number too?"
and she said "no, you look gay"

le sigh, no free time

Living inside my head sucks. Ah well, just have to get used to it. I have so many exciting things going on that i wish i could share, but sadly cannot.

Trying with all my might to stop caring.

Tomorrow i have to make my commitment to entirely change my life, since i missed the phone call today. I really hope i succeed at this transition, cause I sure as fuck didn't succeed at boca.